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I've got this thing that I do when I'm
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feeling really overwhelmed and exhausted
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and I've got all sorts of symptoms going
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on and it's called horse practice now
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the name comes from a film called the
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Revenant where the hero Falls over a
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cliff with his horse and the horse is
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dead and it's freezing cold landscape
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and he's basically going to die unless
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he gets warm somehow so he slashes open
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the belly of the horse and spends the
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night inside the belly of the horse you
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might recognize the same idea from a
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Star Wars movie called The Empire
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Strikes Back Now sounds a bit Grim but
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the idea of this is that sometimes
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there's just nothing doing you know it's
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like my symptoms are so overwhelming my
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fatigue is so strong that there's no
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benefit in trying to do anything even
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with my mind so at times like that it's
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like all I can do is just keep warm stay
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still wait for the light to return and
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that is what I call horse practice and
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it's surprisingly difficult sometimes to
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do absolutely nothing and just kind of
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surrender to what's going on but I
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actually find it very beneficial to have
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tool in my toolkit is something I can do
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or not do because I'm not really doing
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anything when things get too much it's
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just a kind of total surrender doesn't
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mean I'm giving up on trying to recover
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but it means for now that's all I can do
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and that's good enough
